Limited wardrobe

There's no better advert for making sure you have a varied wardrobe than the Home Secretary Theresa May. I'm no fashionista but surely it's common sense that if you only own a few suit jackets, make sure they're not so quirky and out of the ordinary that people instantly notice when you wear it pretty much all the time.

Sadly Theresa May has fallen foul of this fashion faux pas. Her baby blue coloured stormtrooper style outfit makes an appearance far too often. With its very high round neck it's very distinctive and very over warn. Theresa ... it's very nice ...  but you need to hit the sales and get some more to go with it. How about you splash some of your expenses on something from TK Maxx?

Trading faces

"Tonight the role of Declan Napier will be played by Erin Mullally".

What actress Jane Hall didn't say at the start of the first of this week's episodes of Neighbours here in the UK was that the role of her son Declan Napier will be played by Erin Mullally not just tonight, but every night from now on, presumably until the character permanently leaves Ramsay Street.

Now for an Aussie soap this is nothing new. The saga of how many actresses played Lucy Robinson (three) is quite famous, not to mention Scott Robinson, Toby Mangel, Beverley Armitage, Steph Scully (admittedly the original actress was only half visible in one scene before she was re-cast - I'll stop now before I sound even more geeky) but it's not happened that much in recent years. There has been the odd recasting to cover for actors' illnesses (Libby Kennedy and Cheryl Stark come to mind) but a permanent recasting is very rare.

Apparently producers reckon they've invested so much time in the character of Declan that they didn't want to lose the character when actor James Sorensen decided to leave to join the army. I guess he has been through a lot .... his character's not out of his teens and he's married with a child, his wife has since died and he's not moving on with a new girlfriend, aside from the usual teen angst ... so you can kind of see the programme makers' point. But that first time you see the character with a different face is just rather tough to get used to. They don't look right. They don't sound right. The scriptwriters insist on making the other character's refer to "Declan" by name more than is natural to make sure people realise who this stranger is and you have to believe the other characters when they don't bat an eyelid at talking to someone who's had an inexplicable facelift.

Here in the UK it's a lot rarer on our home-grown soaps though EastEnders are apparently getting ready to do a swap with a couple of their child stars, something other soaps often do as well.

But it got me thinking ... if I was to suddenly become indisposed, or fancy a radical change of direction in life which involved moving away from family and friends ... who could I get to become the new James Webster? Now I've been told in the past that I bear a passing resemblance to Gareth Gates, Michael Owen and even Steven Gerrard (what's with all the footballers?!) but judging by how it works in soap-land I wouldn't need anyone who even looks like me to take over - the picture at the top showing the lack of resemblance between the two Declans from Neighbours.

So which well-known figure should I pick? Who would my friends most like to have in my place? Answers on a postcard. Meanwhile I'm off back to watch another episode of Neighbours and count how many times they shoehorn in a reference to "Declan".

Hooked on Big Brother

A week into the new series of Big Brother and I can confirm I am officially hooked, again! As usual I did my trick of watching the freaks go in on launch night to see if I could stomach it. There have been years that purely on basis of that first show I decide not to watch it.

This year's bunch seemed just as bizarre when they went in as they often do, but after giving them the benefit of the doubt over the first couple of days I'm stuck with it and now I'm eagerly awaiting my daily dose of housemate action. It has to be said that if it wasn't for the fact I know this is the last series there is a chance I might not have stuck with it.

After the first I couldn't be more delighted to have seen the back of Rachael. The Beyonce look-a-like spent the entire first week looking down her nose at people, notably the blonde Aussie John-James. His comments to her have bordered on bullying at times but all things considered I can see where she's coming from. As for her opponents - Sunshine's on borrowed time. The girl has no point. If she vanished tomorrow I couldn't care less. And squatter Shabby I love and hate in equal measure. She seems to be quite 'with it' but then she throws a tantrum. At least it's interesting to watch.

Elsewhere you've got rough-Manc Corin who's actually quite sweet. Buxom Josie is an absolute delight. Posh-boy Ben is the sort of guy I usually hate but his dry wit is very endearing.

And what does the future hold for the newly-evicted Rachael - well who'd have thought it. She wants to get her kit off in the lads mags. She should enjoy her week of fame. It'll be another equally vacuous girl who gets kicked out next week no doubt and she'll also be queuing up to get her baps out for cash.